Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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