The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
