haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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