Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
