He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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