God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
