I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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