If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I know her cup size but not her name....
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
