Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
