Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
