and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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