im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
