She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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