I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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