Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
