So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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