Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
