And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
how drunk are you?
Several
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
