we're blogging at a bar
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
