i jhust puked up my retainher.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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