puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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