No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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