Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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