Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
