He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
