so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
