actually, I'm a sock model
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
