What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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