she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
now i know why i became what i already was.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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