who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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