My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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