Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
