Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
