where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
