In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
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