Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
