I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
