theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Drake has all the answers
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
