i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
