maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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