Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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