Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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