let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
