i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
