We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
