i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
