so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
