do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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