I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I believe in your delicious
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
