Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
