You're so nebulous sometimes
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
