I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
