He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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