Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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