I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Who died my cat blue again?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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