I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
